If I was given a chance to choose something, I’d choose to give my mother the life that she always wanted.
Unlike any other daughter, I do not embrace a healthy relationship with my mother. I used to be close with her; she’s my favorite hairstylist, I liked the pair of clothes she used to doll me up, I loved the way her fingers run through my hair to make me fall asleep. But now, I do not find the same comfort as I did as a child.
“Mom, would you wash my back?” Just this once and I’ll forget about all the unpleasant memories that we shared.
You have taken part into shaping of who I am today. You may not have been there in my darkest days and loudest nights, but I have been strong and independent because you are, too. I have been brave, faithful, and fierce because you are, too.
However, I have been an understanding person because… you were not. I have been trying to be calm and gentle, because you were not. You are not a perfect mother, but I know that you always tried to be one.
I admit that I am not a perfect daughter ad well and I sincerely apologize for that. I hold grudges against you. While growing up, I became distant from you. I grew up not learning to express myself, not learning how to communicate with friends, and having difficulties to even tell you my troubles.
I grew up not running to you first when I mess up. Truthfully, I still needed someone to guide me and someone to rely on. I needed someone to tell me that it’s okay to commit mistakes. I needed someone to teach me how to do things better. But maybe, you forgot that I’m also groping in the dark.
Maybe, you forgot that it’s also my first time living this life.
But mother, I still am so grateful for you, for standing strong and bold for our family. Thank you for being the light. Thank you for being supportive and loving to me and my brother. Thank you for everything. I will always embody your love — a mother’s love — your kindness, strength, and resilience.
I hope God gives you the strength, courage, and knowledge to continue providing for our family. I hope you genuinely find happiness and peace with us. I hope you stay healthy and stay with me for a long time. I promise to be the daughter that a mother needs to be. I love you, for as long as I live. You deserve all the love in this world.
Even if the world turns upside down, you will always be my mother.
With all the love,
Your daughter.
